Forgiveness

Wrongs acknowledged by others are easier to forgive.

Forgiving someone when they remain unaware of the hurt they have caused is much harder. How do we forgive when there may never be closure? In this situation, forgiveness isn’t for them; it is for us. We forgive so we can let go of the resentment we carry, not to make the situation right.

Letting go is a process of acceptance. We start by making peace with what cannot be changed. We acknowledge the pain it has caused us. We recognize we have been carrying the weight of this experience long enough and we feel compassion towards ourselves for having endured it. Forgiveness does not require anything more than the quiet agreement within yourself to set it down and move forward with your life.

Forgiving ourselves is the most difficult form of forgiveness. We are not the person we were when it happened - we have gained understanding. We forget that we did not gain this wisdom until after, but this is the point from which we often judge ourselves. 

Peeling back the layers to understand the origin is how we begin. If we are able to do this, we may realize that there were factors outside of our control contributing to who we became and the decisions we made. It is in this space that we can begin to let go of our regret and feel a sense of compassion towards ourselves.

Forgiveness isn’t always about righting a wrong, it can also be about recognizing that we are all imperfect and live in an imperfect world. We cannot change what is past, only how we proceed moving forward. Forgiveness supports our ability to begin to let go.

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